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UPDATE TIME AGAIN

Urrrm nothing much happened on last week.

On Monday I was supposed to go and lend some exambooks for the university entrance examinations, but there weren't any free at our library. So, I lazed at home. Bad me.

On Tuesday I went to search those books from the bookshop, only one was to be found, but I didn't have enough money for that, so I reserved it (book of archeology). The shop assistant sent some messages to the other cities' bookshops whether they'd have the Finnish grammar book and/or the world of religions book (which, the publishers aren't making anymore, apparently). They'll txt me if they find the religion book, and the grammar books should come to the shop this week.
I also went to search a dress for the graduation party. Found one and reserved it til Thursday.

On Wednesday I... uhhh... can't remember what I did, so it was probably nothing big... (I'm seriously starting to get worried about my memory span)

On Thursday dad picked me up at morning (well 10 a.m. is pretty much morning for me, since I usually wake up around 1 p.m...) and we went to get the graduation dress, and dad bought me the graduation cap at the same (yeah no pressures but I bought the hat for you already)...
I picked up my password for library's online account, too.
I was pretty exhausted for the rest of the day since I woke up after 7 a.m. and didn't get even 3h of sleep. Surfed on the net (while trying not to fall asleep) and later took a nap.

On Friday I'll have to go pick up that archeology-book (and grammar if those have shown up) and after that I'll leave to lu_vy's. I'll be there for the weekend because on Sunday there will be Japan Day at Helsinki and we're going there~


Er, money sure is a weird thing. Last week I had only 12€ at my account (still is, since I can't get it out from there) and today I noticed that I have over 100€ in my wallet... seriously, the heck? Not that I'm complaining. I had a real brainstorm as I was trying to figure where that all came from. Apparently most of it came from mom and dad (some of the money is for the exambooks), but I had saved some myself and got some from selling my books away. If I don't go on a spending spree at the Japan Day, I'll save those for my Hetalia cosplay (I'll probably be Lithuania, but damn, I've gotten pretty attached to South Italy, too).

I also watched Natsume Yuujinchou & Zoku Natsume Yuujinchou during this week. I'm such a sucker for japanese mythology...

Now I should go to sleep, so I'll get enough sleep. (Edit: wow does that sound wise after reading it the second time)

Woah, okay, so... 2 weeks without updating.

I'm having my three-week-vacation when graduating students are supposed to read to the exams.
First week I read history, second week I... kind of lazed off. I was kinda numb at the beginning of the week, but a friend came by to visit and it cheered me a lot. Mom bought me white roses. (やっぱり、私が白いバラを好きです!) I finally ordered the pinstripe corset that I wanted! やったああ~! (Okay I just finished my japanese homework, who can tell?) I think that's all... *forgetful*

Now I'm starting to read religion (I can't find my second course book anywhere, oh snap).
Tomor- erm, today I have a history exam (not the real exam, just a rehearsal where students can raise their grades or just sit and listen) from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. and after that I'll go to wait the beginning of my japanese lesson, so no time for reading. I'll continue that on Wednesday.



... I really should go to sleep since I'll have to wake up earlier for the exam...

 

FIRST DAY OF HOLIDAY and still it totally doesn't feel like it.

So I went to Helsinki with a friend, did some Christmas present shoppings and then we went to see a movie (The Fall). Which I was supposed to pay btw, but apparently that was a no-no and she paid it... SO SHE'S GETTING AN EXPENSIVE PRESENT. DAMMIT.
Presents = YEAH LU_VY I BOUGHT YOU A PRESENT EVEN IF YOU TOLD ME NOT TO WHATCHU GONNA DO?
Movie = It was pretty good and interesting, though maybe a bit... artistic.

I really, REALLY have to clean my wardrobe this weekend and put a lot of clothes away, since I don't use even half of them and they're really taking a way too much space.

On Monday me an' lu_vy are supposed to go to watch Joulutarina-movie (Um... Christmas Story?), so I guess I'll do a little shopping that day, too. And I can give her present to her then.

Oh oh oh, and wtf, Raito and L cosplayers just randomly walked past us in the streets of Helsinki. There wasn't even any event related to that? :D OH and when we went to a toystore (yeah shutup), there was this TOTALLY COOL GIGANTIC T-REX TOY/STATUE/WHATEVER, I WANTED IT SO BADLY BUT IT WAS 70€. *tear*

Okay, the Friday lessons went okay and this is what actually happened;
I get paired up with two girls. We choose a task to do and the two girls make one point of the analysis we had to make from a text. Then I make one point after I finally have the courage to open my mouth. Then the girls start to talk about where they're going to go to drink on weekend. I watch my book, listen to them and try not to make "you are so stupid" expressions. Then everybody goes to eat and I go get my cell phone from the hall (I accidentally forgot it there on my free period, glad it was still there) and come back to the classroom. There I read the text again and get a lot of new points and write them down. With those I get a good perspective. Then when the second lesson starts and we have to say our results out aloud, I only mention about the other girls' results (seriously, they weren't relevant at all) and the rest of the analysis is of those that I came up with. Teacher says "very good" and I snatch all the credit~~
Now that wasn't such a bad lesson after all. Still glad that the real teacher comes back on Monday.

The weekend in itself was quite the same as always. A lot of watchable movies came from tv though.

And on Friday mom brought me an armylike jacket that I really got fond of. I gladly went out with the dog so I could wear it...

And what the hell, I saw a dream of a teenage Russia who was spending time and having an ice cream with me and now I feel like I'd have a crush on him... this is really... weird. No, seriously. Though I don't mind.

And next some general rambling.

I've really alienated from my girly side. When I was in middle school (in my goth/metallist period), I really tried to get a corset. After middle school I realized that it really wouldn't have suit me, since it's too feminine. Nowadays if I try to dress or act girly, I'll just feel stupid like a boy who'd be forced to wear a skirt and a purse. Usually I'm okay with this, but there are times when I really would want to dress like a girl (or rarely act like one) and then I'll either feel stupid if I do it, or down because I can't do it without feeling stupid. My friends would also probably think of it as awkward if I did something like that, because they're used to the fact that I act more like a boy and don't look that girly. 
And because I relate being or looking girly - and other stereotypical feminine stuff like that - with getting attention from boys, this sometimes really gets to me. Nobody has ever shown any interest in me, so this often makes me feel bad, too. Even if I always try to convince myself in stuff like this that things aren't like that, I always fail since 1) my self-confidence is zero and 2) I'm a bit paranoid in things like these.



I think I'll go to sleep now. I really managed to make myself feel down again with all this pondering. Like I always do.
(And shit the clock is 2:32 a.m.)